In 10 days the generosity of the American Cancer Society ends, and finding our own way begins for the 20 remaining days of Jills treatment. For every day we have spent away treating Jill’s cancer they have covered 3 of every 4 days we have been away from home. I think the old saying goes when a door closes God opens a window, in two weeks the door will definitely be closing, as the cost of staying for cancer treatments will sky rocket from 200 to 300 a week to well over 800. The cost of fighting cancer and supporting two children and three dogs at our home as Jill and I have our new life of hotels and traveling from one cancer treatment to the next.
It struck hard replacing what you had known as fear with a haunting cold tingling sensation that reaches from your inner most parts and only ends as it chocks itself off at the back of your throat, like vomit never finding a release.
I always have a plan, I tell my kids regularly that if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. But what choices does Cancer pose when Life is on the line. A choice is not a choice, when you are fighting for the life of the woman you love. Instead you grab on tight and you jump and put your faith in God that you will grow the wings you need as you plummet toward the hard reality beneath you.
After the long talk with Dr. Villiotte I believe Jill has finally come to terms with the invasive brachytherapy as its day comes inevitability closer and closer.
There is no way back, so we are left holding hard on to faith, with each day leading us into an unknown direction where only God knows the destination.